I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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