On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
