Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
