i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
