I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I enjoy the company of your penis
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
