i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
