Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
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