I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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