is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
