hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
