What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
