is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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