Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i think i have two assholes
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
