Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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