My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
