It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
