You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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