If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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