the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
