Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
