you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
