just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
