Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
