Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
