Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
