i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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