I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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