i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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