On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
