She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
