The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
