For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
