omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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