tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
