is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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