Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
