okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
