About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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