We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize