Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Did I show you my penis last night?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
