we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
