I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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