yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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