I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
