Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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