Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
