I'm really into asian looking animals
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
