come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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