Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
