is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize