did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
