my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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