How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I wish there were birth control emojis
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
