I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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