He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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