I think my fart just growled at me.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
