My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
