I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
