Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize